Coffee
by WoodwindDragon
Summary: Alternate title: In Which Markus Channels His Inner Cornholio Sorry for the hiatus! got busy with life and stuff... Anyway, I wrote this out of sheer boredom. Enjoy Markus' caffeine-induced antics. Rated T for swearing just to be safe.


Markus hadn't slept in… he wasn't sure how long, but that was all the more reminder for him to get some rest. A number of factors were at play in his streak of all-nighters: the obvious demands of a doctor to help his patients, the stack of paperwork Markus had been ignoring for too long now, and of course, his own insomnia, exacerbated by the remorse from… from… he couldn't bear to think about it. It was all Markus could do to push it to the back of his mind.

The brunette was faced with three options: he could keep working until his inevitable collapse from stress and fatigue, get some caffeine or sugar into his body to delay said collapse even by just a few hours to at least _attempt_ at being productive, or succumb to his own exhaustion and find a place to sleep. The last option seemed the least appealing and also least likely to succeed for a number of reasons, not to mention that his paperwork would continue to pile up whether he was conscious or not. He had never used any form of sleeping aide, and wasn't keen on experimenting with such in his condition. Markus, not wanting to freak Valerie out again by collapsing at random, decided that the caffeinated route was the best one.

"If caffeine's a drug, call me an addict," Markus muttered to himself, filling his novelty mug up as much as he could without spilling it should he suddenly get bumped.

"Did you say something?" Elena asked, standing in the doorway, worry on her face.

Markus yawned, rubbing his eyes, "Nothing, Elena. Just talking to myself again. Anyway, what are you still doing here? Isn't your shift over by now?"

Elena blinked, confused, "Doctor Vaughn, my shift just started. It's seven in the morning." Markus had to do a double take; had he really lost track of time that much? Well, he supposed it was understandable due to the fact that he hadn't been outside or even seen a damn window in who knows how long… "I should be asking you the same question, doctor… And… what's that smell?"

Markus groaned, taking a long swig, not caring about the inevitable burns the inside of his mouth sustained. "I still have work to do. Don't worry, I'm used to the long hours."

His nurse frowned, "You said that yesterday. Doctor Blaylock said you haven't gone home in almost a week. When was the last time you slept?"

Markus wiped his mouth off, "Don't know, don't care. All I know is that I have a stack of paperwork that isn't getting any smaller." He started to head back to his office, Elena grabbing his shoulder suddenly.

"You realize that you're probably ruining your health by doing this, right…? Please, doctor, you really need to sleep."

Markus brushed her off, "I haven't been fine since I was two, Elena. What's the worst that could happen?" He headed back to his office when an intern stopped him.

"Y'alright, doc? Y'all look sick. Hell, even your bags've got bags under them!" she teased in that slightly obnoxious western U.S. accent.

Markus rolled his eyes, "These bags are designer, thank you very much. And if I was sick, I probably wouldn't even be here. Go do… whatever you're supposed to be doing right now and just let me finish my damn paperwork." He was probably acting just a little too rude towards the intern, but he was grumpy from lack of sleep and the annoyance of everyone stopping him on the way back to his office.

"Well, if y'want my help, I've got something that'll pick you right up!" From her purse, she produced one of those concentrated energy drinks and… a small canister of pills.

Markus blinked, confused, "Alright, I know what the five-hour-energy is and I already don't want it, but… what the hell are those pills you've got? And please, for the love of Helix tell me they're legal…"

The intern chuckled, "Sure they're legal! Just caffeine pills is all. And this ain't no five-hour stuff. Naw, this stuff's s'posed to keep ya'll awake for fifteen hours! Go on, mix it with yer coffee, I'm sure y'all won't taste a difference.

Markus shrugged, "Well, what's the worst that could happen…" He mixed the energy drink and dissolved the caffeine pill into his coffee, taking a long gulp until his cup was empty. "Hey, I don't feel half bad, actually…" And that was the last thing Markus remembered. Everything else, well… it wasn't that he _forgot,_ per se, it's just that everything that happened after he drank the caffeine cocktail was a bit of a blur.

"Is he dead?" a vaguely familiar voice called out. "Okay, no, he's not dead… Although I'm kinda surprised he _hasn't_ gone into cardiac arrest by now… Geeze, I've never seen a man's heart beat that fast… Not even, well… heh, won't go into details on _that_ story right now…"

Markus opened his eyes, sitting up. His head was spinning, vision swimming, stomach churning, and he couldn't help but feel a dull ache in his chest. He let out a few garbled noises before finally shaking his head and regaining most of his consciousness, "Gabe? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Making sure you weren't _dead,_ you dumbass. What the hell were you thinking when you drank… whatever was in that cup…"

Markus frowned at him, "I was desperate, sleep-deprived, and had to get my damn work done."

Gabe chuckled, tapping the ashes off his cigarette, "Well, you got your paperwork _done_ alright… Just… well, not exactly in English, unless your handwriting has somehow gotten worse."

Markus flopped back down on his bed, which he had just now noticed, "It probably has. So, what all did I do when I was high, drunk, whatever you wanna call it. What the hell did I do?"

Gabe stifled a laugh, "Oh boy, where do I start? Well, first you… I guess you completed your paperwork, even though your handwriting is illegible. Then that's where things got kinda weird… First you took off your tie and tied it around your head, then you tied the sleeves of your labcoat around your neck like a cape and started wandering around your office rambling about pirates and the bourgeoisie or something like that. The rest was in French or something so I have no idea what you were talking about."

Markus groaned, rolling over, "Tell me about it later, I've got a headache…" Someone else walked into the room, the strong aroma of coffee permeating its way into nearly every surface.

"It seems you have your limits too, doctor." It was the calm, collected voice of Director Quatro. "From what I gathered from what Doctor Blaylock told me, she found you collapsed in your seemingly vandalized office with a heart rate of over two-hundred beats per minute and had you admitted. Your bloodwork apparently showed that you had consumed a massive amount of caffeine prior to collapsing, although considering the half-life of coffee you probably ingested more than what was noted… I don't remember the exact blood pressure or heart rate, but I can tell that it was certainly dangerous for a man your age…"

Markus grumbled, closing his eyes, "I'm well aware that I probably ruined my health with… whatever was in my coffee… Also, could someone get rid of that coffee smell? Just smelling the stuff makes my chest hurt now…"

Director Quatro nodded, "I'll be back to check on you later, doctor."

Gabe snickered, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, you slept like a baby after you crashed. A giant, hairy one high on stimulants…"

"Bite me," Markus growled, feeling groggy but… oddly rested. He had to admit, without the side effects of his caffeine crash, he actually felt good. "So, anything else I did while I was up?"

"Well, from what I heard your ranting was actually kinda hilarious to watch. It's like when you're drunk only better-"

"I thought I told you not to talk about that…" he hissed, furrowing his brow.

Gabe snickered, heading out, "Whatever. At least you're a good kisser when you're drunk, though…"


End file.
